May is coming

Chris died in May and the closer it comes the more anxiety I feel. Kinda like I am reliving it. Alot lately I have found myself thinking about death. There was a time when I was afraid of it but I was able to get over it.The more that I think about it....the more I am afraid again. I am thinking about being cremated versus buried. When you are buried your body is enclosed. I want to be free. Some days have been good for me and some are less the horrible. But I just take it one day at a time.