During the last days of his life my brother and I would sit and REALLY talk. He would ask me about what I really wanted out of life and I would ask him the same. He was ready to grow to be the man that I knew him to be. He was becoming comfortable with his past and really striving to reach his goals. He encouraged me to go back to school. Some thing that I had been putting off for YEARS. I knew I could do it and that he would reach his goals but I wasn't comfortable with making the move. While he was in the hospital I would sneak in and spend the night. The nurses really didn't mind. I would read and watch TV with him. His feet have began to decay. You could literally see the imprint in them because he hadn't walked in 5 months. I would wash them and put lotion on them and some time trim his nails. I started school and remembered promising that I would finish so that I could buy the girls, he and I a house. All I could do was cry my day of school. I must have cried and every class. I miss him and know that he is with me at all times. I love him more than most will ever know. He was a REALLY AWESOME guy, with a lot to offer but no one could see it. I am scared that I will die alone. Women like me are rare but often over looked. But I am always amazed at the wonders with in the human mind.
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