My how times change

I know I haven't written in a year and there is so much that has changed. But I want to share something that has completely changed me for the better. In early 2010 I went back to school and began attending classes. That coupled with work and the kids I became very busy. Long story short I became pregnant with the child of my childhood sweetheart. I didnt really know until I was 5 months. One of the most depressing things was that I didnt have my brother to tell me things were going to be alright and that he stood by me. I was use to having his support and love. I pretty much ended up going thru it by myself but for some reason I was not. I mean I was chipper and happy.

When the big day came for me to deliver I was asleep and had a dream that my brother was talking to me about my daughter (unborn) and telling me congratulations. I woke up thinking that I had to go to the bathroom but the stream of "urine" was continuous. I didn't think nothing of it. I went to walmart and rode around on the scooter just in case. Then while in the dairy section I had the sharpest pain ever and I knew it was time for me to go. When I got to the hospital sure enough my water had broken.

The thing I feared most was having to go on the operating table. I knew that I would have to have a C section but hoped that they wouldn't put me under. As I was administered that pain medication I started to sing "you are my sunshine" and cry uncontrollably. Here I was delivering early, alone and scared. I kept thinking about Chis and how he went in the operation thinking that it was going to be alright and how it turned out. I panicked on the table and had to be given something to calm me down. It was frightening and cold. When I heard her crying I remember feeling a sense of peace and like he was in the room by me. My brother wanted the best for me. Even though I may have made a lot of mistakes in my life he always stood by me. Even if he didn't agree. For that I love him. Taylor Chris Poindexter may never know her uncle personally but I know he loves her and will do everything in my power to make sure she knows him.