Memorial

I won a tattoo contest and went to go and get it on Monday. I wrote about my brother and why I miss him. The guy that actually tatted me had twins and said that he most definitely knew what I was going thru to a degree. People act like it is a switch and I can just turn it off but I am going thru some thing alot more complicated then that. I went with the fear of the pain from the tat but there was a completely different feeling once I was actually there getting it done. I felt better. Alot of the pain and the hurt that I was feeling related to the death dissipated. I felt relieved and relaxed. My sister has been procrastinating about getting one but that isn't me. Where there is a will there is always a way. It turned out real nice and I was happy with the end result. The whole time he was doing it we went over stories Chris. This bus itself was completely tricked out and state of the art. Everything was top notch and up to date. I was impressed. There has been change in my behavior since I have gotten it. I have been smiling every time some one ask me about it. My face just lights up like a Christmas tree. I feel ALOT better. Kinda like I released some of the anger and negative emotions. But there is a stare that I get from certain people that is kinda funny, funny because they look at me as if I am a thug or some outlaw type and that couldn't be further from the truth.